Snape vs a teachers meeting
by macaday me a nut
Summary: Something of Snapes has gone missing? Will he ever find it? What is the item that has gone? How will his fellow members of staff react? Beware! Randomness and OOCness. Funny! Before HBP, anytime really.


Disclaimer: I own nothing that may seem familiar to you. I only own the plot (which there just so happens to be none of in this fic..so really I own nothing!). Everything else is owned by somebody else. Does it really matter who?

**Snape vs a teachers meeting**

As Snape made his way to the bright and cheerful staff room, which he despised and had to visit the most out of all the place's that he despised, all that he could think about was his dear friend, the smiling coffee cup. This cup had gone missing just yesterday. He had spent the whole day searching his quarters for his precious coffee cup.

It was covered in small yellow smiling faces with a red background and in the centre was a big, happy, bright yellow, smiling face. He loved his dear cup. It had been a present from Dumbledore, from when he had gone on holidays to Australia. He had come back sporting a toy kangaroo, a boomerang that **didn't **come back, and a present for every single member of his staff and many other things including countless slides which he played numerous times. Of course Snape fell asleep every time and was the soul reason that they were showed so many times.

Snape had always hated that the head master had made it his life mission to make Snape' life more… colourful. He had even gone as far as give him a pare of pink bunny slippers that, if he walked around his quarters with bare feet, would somehow slip themselves onto his feet; no matter what he did. When Dumbledore had given Snape the present he had planned to throw it out the moment he got to his office, but you know the saying, curiosity killed the cat; and Snape was the cat. He had found a note attached to the cup that contained its magical properties written on it in green ink. Snape liked green. Well what would you expect, he was the head of Slytherin house. It intrigued him.

So he decided to test it out. Her held the mug at arms length, just as a precaution, and said his favourite type of coffee, Black with 24 spoons full of sugar (many people had asked him 'why 24?' He had always answered that 'It wasn't the same and for them to bugger of and mind there own bee's wax') while tapping his wand against the side. As he tapped, the mug filled with coffee. Snape slowly gave it a small sip before confirming that it did indeed work. Now to test out the other qualities that the card 'claimed' the mug had. He pointed his wand at the mug and spoke a freezing charm. Nothing happened. 'Well,' he thought 'At least that one worked.' He then pocketed his wand and walked over to his sink. Turning the mug over, being prepared for any splash backs, although he needn't have worried. The coffee did not spill from the cup, not a drop! 'Well,' he thought while sipping at his coffee 'I guess it does work.'

That day there was to be a staff meeting and Snape had planned to complain that some one had stolen his precious mug and that he refused to teach with out it. As he walked into the staff room he was met with the familiar sites of a normal staff meeting. McGonagall with her green minty coloured cloak. Snape had no idea why the head of Gryffindor house nearly always wore green. It was quite beyond him. The cloak was rumoured to have some type of special power, though Snape never liked to listen to rumours but he had to admit, it did seem like a good reason to wear it all the time.

He noticed that the only chair left was the one beside Dumbledore, to close to the centre of attention for his liking.

"Severus," Snape hated it when people called him that, and the headmaster new it. "So, you have finally graced us with your presence." Said Dumbledore, waving his arms around in an annoyingly cheerful way. "Come, come, sit." Dumbledore patted the seat next to him.

"No thank you, head master. I'd prefer to stand." Snape said the normal scowl in place.

"Are you sure? The meeting might go for a while?" Snape crossed his arms. Dumbledore, seeing that Snape was not going to sit down no matter what he said, let it go. "All right, Severus." And with that Snape silently melted into the shadows. They were so fun to watch unsuspecting children from and jump out at them; most of the kids jumped up a foot in the air when he did. He just loved the looks on there faces. Shadows were also very handy for boring staff meetings. No one could tell if you were actually paying attention or not. All too soon, came Snape's turn to talk.

"Normally I would bore you with complaints about how the little brats have again been stealing out of my private store cupboards or that kids these days are blowing up to many cauldrons, but not today. Today I wish to talk to you about a certain item which has gone missing recently and if I do not have it again I will find it very frustrating to teach the children potions."

"You always find it frustrating to teach the children potions." muttered McGonagall in a very cheeky manner, just loud enough for the whole table to hear and start laughing at. Dumbledore was polite enough not to laugh, but a large grin had found its way onto his face at the statement.

"And what might this object be?" he asked, watching the other staff members finally gain control over themselves.

"It's my coffee cup." And at that everybody burst into laughter…again; even Dumbledore.

After a few minutes of watching his fellow staff members try to control themselves, but failing dismally, Snape decided to put a silencing charm on all of them, except Dumbledore, of course. If he did then Dumbledore would probably have his head, but he was quite lucky that the headmaster seemed to have more control over himself.

"Ahh, silence, finally. Now if all of you could gain at least a little bit of self control..." Snape said, an impatient look on his face as if he had many other things he would prefer be doing. Dumbledore nodded in agreement.

When the staff had finally stopped laughing Snape reluctantly took the silencing charm of them.

"Snape, why don't you just transfigure yourself another one?" asked Madame Hooch. Professor McGonagall suddenly burst into hysterical laughter. For you see the head of Gryffindor, Minerva McGonagall had just had a…hmm, lets say, flashback of the sorts. It was from her life after school and she had been under going her teacher's training. She had been sitting at the very front corner of the class room in the furthest corner watching the present transfiguration teacher and his class. Nearly everybody got the spell correct on their first try, which is more that she could say for the present students at Hogwarts. They were turning squirrels into tea cups. The little black haired, Slytherin boy up the back just didn't seem to be getting it though. His squirrel had indeed turned into a cup, but it was covered in thick, brown fur and had paws and appeared to be squeaking and trying to jump of the edge of the desk. It just so happens that that little Slytherin boy was the dark man standing in front of her, a small, hardly perceptible, but still there, blush beginning to creep its way up to his cheeks as he also recalled the memory. This is why Snape tried to stay away from the staff members as much as possible. When he was around them they always seemed to find a way to embarrass him. Even if he didn't let it show.

"Well, that would never do." he said in mock outrage, "Anyway; it has charms on it that would be very difficult to come by." McGonagall sniggered; Snape had never been the best at charms either.

"Why not just use the staff room cups?" asked Flitwick.

"Just thinking about using those cups gives me a tooth ache." Snape whined, while pretending to flinch in pain and reach for his jaw. As McGonagall was about to make a very cheeky remark a red old fashioned telephone appeared in the centre of the table, ringing its doleful tones twice each three seconds.

"Must be from the ministry?" Dumbledore reached for the phones ear piece and started to listen intently.

"Aha…oh…really…Ill be right there!" and with that he put down the ear piece.

"Everybody, dreadful news; I am badly needed at the ministry. This meeting is adjourned until a better time." He pushed a button on the phone and before he was rushed of by the portkey he was lucky enough to hear Snape yell in frustration "But what about my cup?"

Well...I hope you like it. Review...now!

macaday me a nut (and your onw too!)


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